Some of the nicknames reserved for tall guys out there are absolutely atrocious, some are cool and edgy, and some are lovely and cute. We know at this point you’re probably used to being called “Green Bean” and likened to the Eiffel Tower, so we put together a creative list of the best and worst nicknames for tall guys out there.
Check out the funny (and disgraceful) mean nicknames for tall guys for a good laugh ~ but don’t miss the good ones toward the end. You might want to steal one for yourself;).
Let’s dive in:
Downright Mean Nicknames for Tall Guys
1. Beanpole
This is just offensive. What does a beanpole do? It just sits in the sun looking like a stick. You’re worth much more than that, you tall king. You’re more than just a beanpole.
2. Bigfoot
Does anyone want to be compared to a huge, hairy mythical creature roaming the Rocky Mountains? Even if you can grow a good beard, it’s no excuse to liken you to an animal. You deserve better.
3. Coconut Long Boy
If you don’t know what a Coconut Long Boy is, you’re probably a part of the majority of the population. It’s a long candy made of caramel stuff ~ the point is, you’re tall and skinny. But this just sounds plain suspicious. Imagine your friends shouting across the shooting range, “Hey Coconut Long Boy, come check this out!” That’s like social suicide.
4. Daddy Long Legs
I’m sorry, but do you want to be called the name of a spider? Every part of this nickname has issues. “Daddy”~ weird and uncomfortable (especially if you are not, in fact, a daddy). “Long”~ excuse me, you’re not long, you’re tall. And “Legs”~ yes, you do have legs. How creative of them to point that out.
5. Giant, Gigantasauras, Giganteus, Gigantor, Ginormica
Any one of these nicknames takes an enormous amount of effort and a shockingly low level of creativity all at once; basically if someone calls you one of these, run for the hills. They’re either a homeschooled kid who knows way too much vocabulary, or they are desperately trying to impress you (or others in the room). Run.
6. Goliath
So uncreative! And so offensive. You think you’d be a part of the enemy camp and die because some kid slung a rock into your forehead? You’re better than that. And so should the people coming up with this atrocious nicknames.
7. King Kong
Yet another hairy, large creature they’re comparing you to. When someone calls you this, they’re basically saying they think you’re a huge, hairy ape that terrorizes things. How flattering.
8. Toothpick
Okay we get it. You’re skinny. Do they have to rub it in your face like that?
9. Ball Hog
The only people who call tall guys this nickname are people who aren’t very good at sports (there I said it 😔). Sure, tall guys might be better at basketball and volleyball. But do they need to be shamed for the advantage they’ve been blessed with? Nope nope nope.
10. Too Tall
First of all, you are not a bully just because you tower over other people. Second of all, you can never be “too tall.” Just sayin.
Funny Nicknames for Tall Guys
1. Chewbacca/Chewy
Sure Chewy’s a little hairy, but everyone loves him. You simply can’t complain if someone nicknames you Chewbacca. It’s basically a compliment;).
2. Andre
Far more clever than calling someone a “Giant.” At least they were creative with this one. You have to give them some credit.
3. Lankenstein
This one is just plain hilarious. Imagine your buddies shouting, “Hey Lankenstein!” across the bar at you. It’s too funny of a nickname to not treasure.
4. Skyscraper
Now this is a classier way of commenting on how tall you are. Nothing is offensive about calling someone a skyscraper, and it honestly sounds pretty cool.
5. Stilts
This one is funny just because of the sheer ridiculousness of it. There are so many questions surrounding this nickname… Do your legs look like stilts? Are you so tall you look like you’re wearing stilts? Do you walk clumsily like you’re using stilts? The options are endless.
6. Swizzle-Stick
Someone calls you swizzle-stick and you’re automatically the cool guy in the group. This nickname sounds like the cool kind of name you’d get if you played in the NBA or something ~ the kind of nickname that won’t bother you if it sticks.
7. Cloud Kidnapper
This is one clever reference to Jack and the Beanstalk ~ and it sounds funny, too. Plus, Cloud Kidnapper sounds pretty intimidating ~ I’m just saying, I don’t want to play basketball against a guy called Cloud Kidnapper, you know what I mean?
8. Abraham Lincoln
This one is hilarious because when I think of Abe Lincoln, I don’t think of his height first. So if someone calls you Abraham Lincoln, who knows? They might be complimenting your leadership skills, unshaken moral code, or incredible kindness. Either way, they’re paying you a compliment.
9. Burj Khalifa
Calling someone the Burj Khalifa just sounds goofy. If someone is not only smart enough to know what the Burj Khalifa is, but to turn it into a nickname ~ well, the sheer shock factor is bound to make someone laugh. It’s random and hilarious.
10. Rooftop
This is a classy way of saying “you’re tall.” Rooftop sounds like the kind of nickname you’d get if you lived in a Mark Twain book. It’s just cool.
Cute Nicknames for Tall Guys
1. BFG
Everyone loves the BFG, and the name comes from a great book so it makes it that much better. Perfect for a friendly tall guy like yourself.
2. Everest
Everest is the kind of cool nickname short people wish they could have because it sounds so dang cool. If you’re a tall guy you might as well take a nickname like this and run with it ~ the rest of us are jealous.
3. Giraffe
Alright, you’ve probably heard this one before, but it is endearing. Giraffes are pretty cool animals, you have to admit. Much better than being called “Sasquatch” or something purely offensive like that.
4. Jolly Green Giant
For the especially cheerful tall guy, this nickname is perfect. If someone calls you this, they want you to know they think your height and your attitude are impressive ~ that’s two compliments in one.
5. Redwood
Yet another classy, super cool nickname for tall guys! Redwoods are some of the coolest trees out there ~ I mean, people travel to see those things. They don’t do that for ordinary trees. You’re special;).
6. Big Bird
This nickname is a little bit funny, a little bit cheesy, a little bit cute ~ the perfect combo if you don’t mind a little cheese. If someone calls you Big Bird, embrace the nickname and rock it. Big Bird is a pretty cool character.
7. Big Bear
Everyone loves a big old teddy bear. Calling a tall guy Big Bear is not to say they can’t be intimidating, but it is to say they have an extra ounce of gentleness that makes them that much sweeter. Take this nickname as an endearing compliment.
8. Alpine
Yet another cool nickname tall guys can run with! Alpine sounds like the cool kind of nickname someone would ask about because it’s just discreet enough to be classy, creative, and cool.
9. Gulliver
Who doesn’t love Gulliver’s Travels? This nickname is fun and creative, and it’s sure to get a handful of laughs every time you’re likened to this giant from classic literature.
10. Gentle Giant
Calling someone a Gentle Giant is a massive compliment. Do you know how hard it is to be graceful in a body like this? The fact people think you’re gentle is a win in my book ~ so no offenses taken by this cute nickname.
Even if you didn’t find a nickname that suits you perfectly, I hope you got a good laugh out of this goofy list of nicknames for tall guys! And for all the tall guys reading along, be sure to check out our clothing selection for tall guys ~ you won’t regret it.
Check out a few of our bestsellers below:
Our tall t-shirts are designed to fit and flatter tall, slim guys perfectly.
Our Tall Polos are perfect for casual summer nights!
Need something a little warmer? Our Tall Quarter Zip Sweatshirts are perfect for tall, slim guys (or coconut long boys) like yourself;).
