Let’s be honest: Being tall is mostly awesome. You’re seen as more confident, authoritative, and attractive. Plus, you can always reach that thing on the top shelf.
Well, most of the time anyway.
You see, in many ways, the world isn’t made for us. We’re the outliers, the ones that nobody plans for. That’s why, without fail, you have experience at least a few of these things before at some point in your life:
1) People assume that you play basketball.
I’ve never understood this one. I mean, I don’t assume that you used to be a gymnast because you’re short.
But yes, I do enjoy basketball.
2) The one you love gets a lot of awkward hugs and kisses.
Do you bend down and hug with your butt sticking out? Does she stand on something? I sure don’t know what to do. No matter what, there’s just no good way to handle this one.
3) You just can’t seem to connect on a high five.
I’m just trying to make sure it’s actually a high five.
4) You ruin photo symmetry.
“Hey, Ron. I need you to –”
“– NEED ME TO WHAT, DAVID?”
Slouching isn’t going to get it done, David. Just move the camera back.
5) Your opinion of a building is the same as your opinion of its ceilings.
Nope. We will not be signing a lease after all. My head can only miss this thing so many times in a row before it doesn’t.
6) You are the honorary weatherman.
“How’s the weather up there?”
Same as it is for you, well, except for the hailstorm that I plan on unleashing if you toss out any other terrible jokes.
7) Seriously, what is it with high fives?
THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR A LOW FIVE!
8) Moving your seat back is not something to be taken lightly.
Don’t mind me, I’ll just shrink my femurs. FOR THREE HOURS. DON’T WORRY, I HAVE MAGIC POWERS!
9) You get the best view at the concert but at the price of being persecuted.
I get it, but it’s not my fault.
10) Last but not least – don’t even get us started on clothes.
Shopping for clothes when you’re tall is no joke. “One size fits all?” Apparently I’m not “all.” Or, perhaps it fits in the shoulders but doesn’t reach my waist. Or, it’s long enough in the waist but fits like a tent around the shoulders. And pants are just as bad. That’s why we do what we do, to give you a chance to find a T-shirt that actually fits. A crazy concept, we know, but one worth fighting for.
